Please tell me I’m not the only person with this problem…
At night, when I’m winding down to go to bed and thinking about all the things I have to accomplish the next day, I feel like the most motivated person on the planet. I feel invincible! Like I could take on the world. I’m happy and optimistic and creative and energetic! I have all these plans in my head, all these dreams and aspirations that I just KNOW I’ll reach… and then I lay my head on the pillow, scroll through Pinterest for a few minutes, and when my eyes are heavy enough, I put my phone away and drift to sleep.
Hours pass… and then I wake up.
And I am NOT that motivated person. I have no urge to do ANYTHING. No dreams. No aspirations. No desire to be a better person.
I’m a grumpface who wants nothing to do with furthering her career, reaching her goals, or even cleaning her house.
I feel like a nobody.
What the HELL happened in those 6-8 hours??
Did my brain just reprogram itself for mediocrity? Did the Sandman trample my hopes and dreams while I was in REM?
Part of me thinks it’s because I’m tired and just not a morning person. But that’s not it! Because I can wake up feeling completely refreshed and happy…
Happy to sit on my ass and watch Netflix for a few hours.
But I can’t!
I have to MAKE MYSELF get things done.
Where’s that drive? At what point throughout the night did it die on me?
And how can I get it back?
I don’t have one.
I have no. Earthly. Clue.
BUT! I’m working on it. Just like I’m always working on something.
Eventually, I’ll figure out how to be that person who hops out of bed in the morning, ready to take on the day. I’ll figure out what it takes to make the most out of every single minute of my day instead of dreading all the things I have to do and all the crap I scheduled at night while I was at my high point.
And let me just say, it takes me a while to get BACK to that point.
Usually, it kicks in sometime after dinner. Around 8pm or so.
Riiiiight about the time I need to be getting ready for bed.
I’ll fix this. I will.
But in the meantime, feel free to refer to me as Mr. Hyde from 6am-8pm and Dr. Jekyll from 8pm to whenever I crash…