Ten Reasons to Read “Puck Aholic”

TEN REASONS TO READ “PUCK AHOLIC” BY LILI VALENTE
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Reason #1: Ass-biting mini pigs. (Yup. You read that right. The “hero” isn’t the first to sink his teeth into a sweet piece of ass in this one.)
Reason #2: One dirty-talking hockey player. (Some dirty talk can be cheesy. This is so far from cheesy, guys. This is… lactose intolerant dirty talk. *side eye* *clears throat* I regret nothing.)
Reason #3: The most beautiful, eloquent, and tasteful look into ADHD I’ve ever read.
Reason #4: Killer mermaid lore. (Don’t worry Channing Tatum! I’ll save you! Just back away from the water reeeeal sloooow…)
Reason #5: Lessons on how to establish dominance……. with a pig. (Did anyone else just visualize Christian Grey bending Miss Piggy over a pool table? No? Just me then? Right. *slinks off to hide behind the curtains*)

Reason #6: Magical unicorn penis. (I… *sigh* Not even going there. Just read the book.)

Reason #7: Hammock sex. (But good hammock sex. Hammock sex that will have you forgetting about Ugly Naked Guy and his Play-Doh Fat Factory… Oh, you’d forgotten about that?… I just reminded you?… *shrug* Muh bad.)

Reason #8: The best possible way to get a high score on a pinball machine.
Reason #9: A possible way to overcome automatonophobia. (Go ahead. Google it. I’ll wait…)

and finally…

Reason #10: *Quote* ‘And of course, thinking of bodacious asses makes me think of Tanner and how insanely hot it was to watch his ass muscles clench in the bathroom mirror while he fucked me in the shower last night.’

*Cranks up AC* –beep–beep–beep–
It just got a little sexy up in here, y’all…
Enough yammering from me, get your copy of ‘Puck Aholic’ HERE!
Like, now…
Seriously.
Quit reading this.
Go!
*air kisses*

xoxo
Cat

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